The Ugliest Mailbox in America
As I was driving my husband and children to the airport this morning, I discovered that – once again – my hard-working local snow plow guys had knocked my mailbox well into the field across the street. (To be fair, because of postal restrictions out here in the country, they only deliver mail on one side of the street, and that was the side they knocked it into.) So, I called the town plow guys and said something along the lines of, “Wah, mailbox, wah, third one this month, wah, woman on the edge.”
And then, after I hung up, I had an epiphany. The perfect solution. Because, see, I used to have a white mailbox, which is impossible to see against the empty field by my mailbox. Then, I got a black mailbox, but see… these guys work in the middle of the night, and sometimes, it’s really dark. The answer?
Duct tape.
See? Because there’s BRIGHT YELLOW duct tape, which is hard to miss, and also, REFLECTIVE SILVER DUCT TAPE, which will blind you at night. PLUS, the ultimate element of duct tape, the ability to bind it to the post, a task which multiple wood screws have not been able to accomplish.
And, you know… yeah. It’s really, really ugly. But the plow guys will SEE IT. And right now, that’s really all I care about. So… yay me!
Also… happy Inauguration Day! I cried. But a good cry. Didn’t cry over my mailbox, but Obama had me weeping. Here’s to a new age, people. Let us do good things with it.
What a bright idea!
Sorry, couldn’t resist the pun.
I love it… you’ll have to let us know how it works after the next snow storm. If it still won’t work, you could try adding a blinking strobe light as well
Well, I’m just hoping the loops of duct tape keep it on the base. I think they’re going for distance. LOL. But our house is hard to see on the road, so I shouldn’t have trouble with people missing our house when I give them directions.
I’m proud of myself I didn’t cry until they announced him. And, then I cried again when they mentioned 60 years ago he wouldn’t even have been served in a diner, but now he’s president. Buckets. Go, Obama.
As for the ugly mailbox…it only adds to your reputation as the ecentric writer. Welcome to the world of ODD.
I’m adding this to my list of ‘ridiculously useful things that duct tape can do.’ Here’s hoping it helps even the score between you and the snow plow guys! Our snow plow guys managed to rip up some of the speed bumps in our town house complex. But it’s still slowing people down, because now the bumps are in tact but located at odd angles, so people have to slow down to navigate around them.
There is no end to your creative talent. Now mailbox design can go on your resume. You are my hero.
Go, Lani. Love the mailbox and the good feeling toward Obama. And to all of us.
What can I say? That is one UGLY mailbox! But as long as the postal person is willing to dump your mail into it, who cares? it has….personality. Definitely one of a kind. Out here in the Central Valley in Cali we don’t have snow plows–we have kids with baseball bats. My mom was a rural mail carrier for 27 years and let me tell you–she has seen some inventive ways people have used to protect their mail boxes!! Most people in the country have these huge monstrosities made out of steel and pipes that defy even the hardest-hitting minor leaguer!! LOL!
That is truly a work of art. Rarely have I ever seen such subtle use of color and texture. It speaks to me. It say’s “Hey Dumbass, quit sending me into orbit!”
I LIKE it!
You know, it’s actually growing on me. Mostly because I know that anyone in the area who drives by is going to know the whole story behind it without me having to explain anything.
I have done battle with the snowplow drivers for years, and I eventually gave up and moved to a post office box. Once I did that, would you believe the mailbox in front of my house managed to stand for two years? Yes, it was dented and didn’t have a front door, but it stayed, which was different than the previous three years when it seemed to come unglued every week. Alas, right now the doorless box is sitting in the snow, and I am glad my mail is safe at the post office.
As for the mailbox, a trick you might want to try — putting up a piece of wood on the side of the box that the snowplow comes by. The ones I see around northern Michigan are about the same height and width of the mailbox, and they block/disperse the snow that the snowplow hits them with.
One more thing — long ago when I was a reporter, and we were getting tons of calls from people made at their snow plow driver, I did a “day in the life” story, and I rode around with a snow plow driver. I am not surprised they don’t see the mailboxes, but the guy in charge claimed it was the force of the snow and not the actual plow that would send mailboxes skittering.
If you complain, they will replace it for free (and even come out and install it for you). But they replace it with a generic $5 box no matter how much your original cost.
That would be “mad at their snow plow drive” not made.
When I lived on my farm in Missouri we had a mailbox large enought to stuff a McDonalds addicted Toddler into, and because our mailman drove a pickup truck the box had to be four feet off the ground.
Our mailman was famous for driving the gravel roads sipping on a six pack of Natural Light beer. He never hit our mailbox, but he did hit a cow once. But I think that’s because the cow was smaller than the mailbox.
Let’s hope this will stop the plowman from using the mailbox as a pinata.
“Our mailman was famous for driving the gravel roads sipping on a six pack of Natural Light beer.” did anyone else flash to that old Chevy Chase movie, “The Funny Farm”?! I am picturing the antisocial mail guy and his backfiring, smoke-belching ramshackle pick up truck that he barreled around the country in, throwing people’s mail out the window as he roared by… ROFLMAO!!
I have to admit, at first i thought it was a miniature schoolbus, then a shoebox (yes i know, a yellow shoebox haha) not to mention i couldn’t really understand why would one put yellow-painted wood planks on their mailbox. Maybe i’m just tired who knows, but hey, whatever works right?:D
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